A Bittersweet Anniversary

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It was one year ago today that I got the call that my Dad died.

A death of someone so close to you, whether a parent or a child or a friend or a spouse is one of the most heart wrenching loss a person on earth can live through. In my grief though, I must try to look at the positive side of living a full life without someone I loved so very much.

It’s hard. Extremely hard. 

There are 7 stages of grief:

  • Shock & Denial
  • Pain & Guilt
  • Anger & Bargaining
  • Reflection &  Loneliness
  • Upward Turn
  • Reconstruction
  • Acceptance & Hope

I don’t know if  have gone through each stage. Grief is a tricky feeling.

I do know that I am able to talk about my Dad with a laugh, a fun memory, a smile on my face. It’s taking me awhile.

I have learned more so this year than any other that life is so precious. My Dad didn’t have to die. His prognosis for a full recovery was good, but his wife chose to withdraw oxygen and food. Because she appointed herself as his agent and he did not have an Advanced Directive, legally she was able to stop his life. Much too soon.


There will be a day that she will have to answer to God when asked why she took a man’s life by denying him oxygen and food. I know that my Dad is looking down at me from up above and is giving me the strength to CHOOSE LIFE while going through Breast Cancer. No better way do I have to honor my Dad who has passed than to live my best life here on earth. I will forever be an advocate for Advance Care Directives. I will forever spread the word to Choose Life by sharing the story of my Dad’s death.

His death though, is not a reflection of his life. His life was so important. He loved his three children, He loved his grandchildren. He loved french fries, classic cars, old time rock and roll, laughing, movies, bacon wrapped steak, his truck. He disliked his receding hairline, laziness, loud people, cold weather. This was his life and it mattered.

I love you Dad. I promise to make you proud.


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